Difficult Story and Career.

Gosh this is hard! I've discovered something recently and that is that I am not a depressed person. I never have been, and never could be. It's impossible for me to truly be upset about anything for more than two minutes and even though I understand the horrible things going on in the world I can't fathom myself not believe what I always have. I've always been of an opinion that all-in-all the universe is a decent place and that the potential for good is greater that the potential for bad.
You cna call me naive if you want, but as far as I'm concerned that's not the case.
That is why I am struggling so deeply with this story I'm writing. It's called 'The Unknown Artist' and it's about a 13 year old girl with the worst of circumstances imaginable for modern North America. I won't go into details, but basically her mom died when she was eight and since she's been holding together her household while her father abuses her regularily. He leaves her siblings along however (they don't even know about it) and poses their family kind of as the modern day Brady Bunch.
This 13 year old girl is the angriest, most depressed and self-isolating person known to man and although I'm pretty sure I'm pulling it off, writing through the first person perspective of such a person is very difficult for me.
I'm doing this because I've been having some difficulty creating characters for my stories that don't resemble myself majorly. It's not noticable, but I need to be able to convincingly write through the perspective of some one much unlike myself and this is how I'm going about it.
In the end the story is happy. She finds an old notebook under her bed while attempting to kill herself and ends up calming herself down by sketching her heart out in the pre-used notebook.

And at school before Easter Break we took a career test. This was the first one I've ever taken and I answered it as honestly as I could. The end result was that we got fourty different jobs listed in order of which ones you were most likely to suceed at. To my surprise over half of the results were different kinds of doctors. Other than find out what kind of doctor each of them was (there are some weird kind of doctors with weird names out there) I didn't pay much attention to any of them.
The reason this surprised me so much was becuase I had meantioned not really wanting to work constantly with people, not caring about being involved with medicine, not caring about making much money and not wanting to live in the city.
Apparently I have the determination, people skills, lack of comfort zone, ability to keep cool under pressure and intelligence to be pretty much any kind of doctor I want to be.
At first I wasn't even considering this. Being a doctor involved too much schooling for a lot of money that I don't care about getting and a little too much everyday chaos for me to find it an enjoyable life path.
Lately though, I've been thinking about one of the types of Doctors it suggested. A Naturopath.
A naturopath is basically a modern day medicine man (woman). Instead of convering up symptoms with drugs and surgery, a naturpath finds the problem and solves it using all-naturl means. The crazy thing is, is that this works amazingly, although it's a little on the expensive side and still viewed as kind of urban mythology. It'll probably begin to become more popular and accepted along with the whole enviromental thing.
Targetting the problem instead of temporarily covering up the symptoms is something I believe in strongly.
Even since I developed a temporary and mild depedancy to ecinatia (sorry, don't know how to spell that) I've hardly ever taken any pills or medicine for anything. When I have a headache, instead of taking an advil I eat and apple and take a nap or meditate.
ever since I've been getting sick half as much and my migranes have turned into mere light headaches.
Suddenly, in the past week or so, the idea of dedicating my life to helping people become healthy the right way just kinda almost seems like something I might consider. Although I did spend six months of my life convinced I was gunna be a firefighter (which I still think would be cool) so I'm not sure if this is leggite this time.
Of course, I'm always going to be a writer no matter what. Even if I have to make like Mary Higgins-Clark and get up at four o'clock in the morning to write for two hours before getting ready for the day and driving my kids to school becaus eI don't have any other time I can do it at because I'm juggling two dead-end jobs because my husband died then so be it. My love of and dedication to writing are only rivalled by my religion.

As intense as that may sound, I think having one or two things that you care deeply about is good.
As much as I love Weezer, I don't wnat to end up like them.

(In case you didn't know, Weezer is a 90's alternative rock band which is known for being built up by those nerds you knew in hoghschool who hung out in their garage all day, not doing anything until somebody handed them a guitar and they just kinda rolled with it)
If you need more of an understanding listen to the songs 'In the garage' and " dreamin' "